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TechnographVideo games often replace sex
By Celeste brott, The News Record (University of Cincinnati)
Posted: 5/20/08 Section: Opinion Columns
As a member of the female sex, I have long been perplexed by the enthusiasm with which guys play video games.
I have also been perplexed by the amount of time some guys are able to spend playing. Then recently, it hit me: video games are a substitute for sex.
Guys think about sex constantly, but no guy can actually engage in sex as often as he thinks about it.
So when he isn't getting laid, the average guy needs an activity to distract him from this fact.
The activity must engage his mind and his body. It can't be passive, like watching television.
Sometimes sports fit this bill, but more often than not, the perfect substitute for sexual activity is found in the playing of video games. Therefore, the amount of time any given guy spends playing video games is inversely proportionate to how often he is getting laid.
When I first came up with this theory, I was really excited. I have solved the mystery of the male psyche, I thought, I finally understand guys! Hallelujah!
However, I have come up with crackpot theories before, many of which make sense in my mind but fail to hold up when field research is conducted. In the interest of validating my theory, I decided to do some research and consult the experts: guys.
First, I shared my theory with my guy friends from work, who I spend most free periods sitting with in Tangeman University Center, chatting about whatever. My theory was met with slight skepticism at first, but after a moment of contemplation, it was dubbed "mostly right."
I then shared my theory with A.J. Grubbs, a first-year engineering physics student at Case Western University. I hoped that Grubbs would be able to give me the "gay guy's perspective" on the issue, but instead of considering how my theory related to his own life, he immediately praised my theory as brilliant and gave an example using a guy in his dorm.
"This kid used to play video games all day long," Grubbs said. "Then he came back after Christmas break and announced that he had a girlfriend. And since he has been back he has hardly played at all."
I have also been perplexed by the amount of time some guys are able to spend playing. Then recently, it hit me: video games are a substitute for sex.
Guys think about sex constantly, but no guy can actually engage in sex as often as he thinks about it.
So when he isn't getting laid, the average guy needs an activity to distract him from this fact.
The activity must engage his mind and his body. It can't be passive, like watching television.
Sometimes sports fit this bill, but more often than not, the perfect substitute for sexual activity is found in the playing of video games. Therefore, the amount of time any given guy spends playing video games is inversely proportionate to how often he is getting laid.
When I first came up with this theory, I was really excited. I have solved the mystery of the male psyche, I thought, I finally understand guys! Hallelujah!
However, I have come up with crackpot theories before, many of which make sense in my mind but fail to hold up when field research is conducted. In the interest of validating my theory, I decided to do some research and consult the experts: guys.
First, I shared my theory with my guy friends from work, who I spend most free periods sitting with in Tangeman University Center, chatting about whatever. My theory was met with slight skepticism at first, but after a moment of contemplation, it was dubbed "mostly right."
I then shared my theory with A.J. Grubbs, a first-year engineering physics student at Case Western University. I hoped that Grubbs would be able to give me the "gay guy's perspective" on the issue, but instead of considering how my theory related to his own life, he immediately praised my theory as brilliant and gave an example using a guy in his dorm.
"This kid used to play video games all day long," Grubbs said. "Then he came back after Christmas break and announced that he had a girlfriend. And since he has been back he has hardly played at all."
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Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Tango
posted 5/20/08 @ 6:58 PM CST
Hmm, I would agree with the theory, except that I have actually seen men playing video games ignore their (Attractive) girlfriends. Not just "Hey, you need to fix. (Continued…)
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