Illini Media
WPGU
buzz
Illio
TechnographIllini Hockey experience: baffling and amusing for spectators
By Scott Nathan Green
Posted: 2/21/08 Section: Columns
I'm a big Illini sports fan, and my passion has been rewarded this year by the Illini hockey team, ranked No. 1 in the American Collegiate Hockey Association polls and undefeated deep into the season at 32-0. It's the most exciting thing to happen to University athletics since the football team went to the Rose Bowl in January and exerted some sort of effort.
The hockey team plays its final two home games of the season Friday and Saturday against Adrian College, both 7 p.m. faceoffs at the Ice Arena. Tickets are $5 for students and $7 for non-students, though if you mention this column, they will still make you pay full price.
My enthusiasm for hockey is dampened only slightly by the fact that I do not understand the rules. My friend Jason, who goes with me to games, can't believe I don't get how hockey works. He is always explaining easy-to-understand rules, such as the one for offsides, which has baffled me for years. Offsides is simple enough that everybody understands it, Jason informs me with the same incredulity he would express if I said I didn't believe in gravity.
"So the players can't cross the blue line until the puck crosses," Jason says, "but they can cross the other blue line whenever they want, unless they're defensemen, and if the puck gets passed across two lines the goalie gets a free kick, unless it's opposite day, in which case everything is reversed." Somehow this does not make me understand. Possibly because I am an idiot.
But it doesn't matter that I can't comprehend the game. I don't watch hockey because of the blue lines; I watch because athletically fit, highly aggressive undergrads beat the tar out of each other for my amusement. The one thing I do know about the rules is that it's completely legal for a player to slam someone from the opposing team against the boards at a ludicrous rate of speed.
This is called "checking," and despite its violent nature, it is not grounds for a player to spend time in the penalty box. On the other hand, players get a two-minute penalty for "holding," which sounds like a tender expression of affection, and of course is impermissible in a manly sport such as hockey.
The hockey team plays its final two home games of the season Friday and Saturday against Adrian College, both 7 p.m. faceoffs at the Ice Arena. Tickets are $5 for students and $7 for non-students, though if you mention this column, they will still make you pay full price.
My enthusiasm for hockey is dampened only slightly by the fact that I do not understand the rules. My friend Jason, who goes with me to games, can't believe I don't get how hockey works. He is always explaining easy-to-understand rules, such as the one for offsides, which has baffled me for years. Offsides is simple enough that everybody understands it, Jason informs me with the same incredulity he would express if I said I didn't believe in gravity.
"So the players can't cross the blue line until the puck crosses," Jason says, "but they can cross the other blue line whenever they want, unless they're defensemen, and if the puck gets passed across two lines the goalie gets a free kick, unless it's opposite day, in which case everything is reversed." Somehow this does not make me understand. Possibly because I am an idiot.
But it doesn't matter that I can't comprehend the game. I don't watch hockey because of the blue lines; I watch because athletically fit, highly aggressive undergrads beat the tar out of each other for my amusement. The one thing I do know about the rules is that it's completely legal for a player to slam someone from the opposing team against the boards at a ludicrous rate of speed.
This is called "checking," and despite its violent nature, it is not grounds for a player to spend time in the penalty box. On the other hand, players get a two-minute penalty for "holding," which sounds like a tender expression of affection, and of course is impermissible in a manly sport such as hockey.
The Daily Illini encourages on-topic discussion through article commenting on its articles and blogs. It is our policy not to delete any comments based upon political or ideological point of view. However, we reserve the right to remove comments that are abusive, off-topic or use excessive foul language.
The posting of copyrighted material, including any and all content for which you are not the author, is illegal under Federal intellectual property laws. Such activity will not be tolerated. Comments containing copyrighted material will be removed, and continued violation of copyright law is grounds for being banned completely from commenting on DailyIllini.com.
If you feel any post meets these conditions or merits review, please e-mail our editors at meonline@dailyillini.com.
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
Bucky
posted 2/21/08 @ 8:20 AM CST
Stay classy Illinois!
Jason
posted 2/21/08 @ 2:59 PM CST
Fool! Opposite day is a basketball rule! You have remembered nothing!
opservy
posted 2/21/08 @ 4:11 PM CST
are you serious? this person obvisiously has no clue of a illini hockey game. i have gone for years and have never experience the negative things he talks about, except taunting the other players. (Continued…)
Post a Comment